Thursday, April 30, 2015

Dear 2014

Pin It Dear 2014,
I'm sorry I never got to say a proper goodbye to you. I really wanted to, but you know how New Year's can get and if it's any consolation, I had the flu. I know it's probably too late, being that it's almost 5 months into 2015, but I still have so much to get off my chest, and with every passing month I start to miss you more. 2014, you taught me so much. Thankfully you taught me that 2013 wasn't going to last forever. Honestly, you taught me nothing last forever. I learned how to ski because of you, and most importantly how bad I am at it. I learned that you should probably bring a cooler to a picnic, but you can still have fun if the deli meat spoils. I learned what letting go was suppose to feel like and I learned that I hadn't yet. You gave me a preview of the heartbreak to come, but I was the one that decided it was worth it. I learned that I'll miss going to math class, even though that is something I never thought I'd say aloud. I learned what it feels like to be in the same room as your role model and what it feels like to bond with strangers, over a book that you read when you were most alone. You taught me how it feels to sing at the top of your lungs with your best friends, and the bittersweet glory of post-concert depression. You taught me to smile without covering my mouth and how to eat chocolate with ease. You taught me what feeling beautiful is like, even if it only lasted for a selfie. I learned about my affinity for parks and I learned I'm really bad at holding hands. You taught me what buying a new dress is like and the dangers of getting my hopes up.  I learned how it feels to hear the ocean roar as I cried quietly about nothing and everything. I learned what heartbreak feels like, even though it hadn't exactly healed from the first time. You taught me that homework can only numb the pain for so long, but talking on the phone about anything and nothing at all helps too. I learned how to third-wheel again, and I learned to bring my own jacket this time. You taught me what it's like to not sleep for 3 days in a row and the mild euphoria it can fill you with it. I re-learned the dangers of getting my hopes up, and I learned what it's like to go to parks when it's 20 degrees outside. I re-learned I'm amazing at giving second chances, although those second chances had been second chances before. 2014, you taught me what being alive feels like. Highs and the lows. What being happy is like and the opposite. I still miss you. I miss my summer anthems, I miss picnics, and I even miss staying awake 3 days in a row. I want to thank you again. For everything you've done for me. I can never repay you, and I don't think I could forget you, but mostly importantly I can't repeat you.

Sorry this was late, but I think we all will sleep better tonight.
Love, Victoria